Re-Mothering
07/12/08 20:32 Filed in: Spirituality
A 68-year-old female client told me a bit of her life story. She was a baby in Germany during WW2. She was the fourth child and was not wanted. Throughout her life, her mother blamed her for all her mother’s health (and other) problems. She recalls starving and watching her father eat without sharing anything with the children.
Her presenting problem, according to her, was a lack of trust that things would be all right; that she would have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep. As these were missing in her childhood, it was no surprise that she was insecure.
Though her story, I came to know of some of her belief system. She was quite spiritual, but not religious. She believed in divine parents, had some access to her life before birth, and believed in life after death. She knew that God loves her, but often didn’t feel it. Many times when difficulties arose, she went into a dark mental-emotional hole and just didn’t care. At such times, she became very pessimistic and stopped trying to make things better. Then she would sink into depression and remain there for days, weeks or even months.
We spent a lot of time getting her to define her desired state very precisely. This is most important. Without a well-defined goal, one makes no measurable progress. A well-defined goal needs to:
1) be stated in the present as if it is true now,
2) be stated in the positive (no symptoms or problems mentioned whatsoever),
3) harmonize with her life situation so as to not produce avoidable problems with herself or with others (the ecology check),
4) be verifiable (she should know without a doubt if she has achieved it).
What she wanted was to know with certainty that she would always have enough food to eat and a warm place to sleep. She wanted an unshakable belief that the divine mother would always be there for her and take care of her.
In the session, we cleared her energy in present time and used age recession to identify other times in her life that needed clearing. The second age recession landed us in the time when her mother was three months pregnant with her. This is about the time when the mother becomes aware that she is pregnant. As she was not a wanted child, this was when her mother began cursing her and even tried unsuccessfully to have an abortion.
The process of age recession is postulated to awaken many of the brain neurons that were active at the recessed time; to evoke the energy patterns that were active back then. As she was only a tiny fetus, I had to work with imagery that could conceivably be present at that early developmental stage. To do so, I built upon her beliefs.
To assist the process, I could have had her drink some placenta extract. As I had none available, I used a good alternative: pure rose oil. I placed a drop under her nose so she would smell it during the treatment and had her put a drop on her tongue as well. Then we both closed our eyes and I guided her to “recall” how before conception she was with her divine parents, the ones who are always there for her. My words were something like: “Recall how you were as a spirit – fully free and ever loved. Remember how your divine mother and father instructed you for your journey into this lifetime. You knew then, more or less, the severity of the conditions you were to have with your parents. And you chose this for the lessons it would bring. Suffering engenders compassion. There is no way you can develop compassion without having gone through similar suffering. And you are a very compassionate person now, thanks to the hardships of your childhood. Though they were terrible, the served a worthy purpose. They made you the deeply caring person that you now are.
“At this recessed time, three months into your mother’s pregnancy with you, your physical mother is very angry and is directing that anger towards you. Of course, that is very upsetting. At this time, you are not yet fully associated with your baby body so let’s back up away from the body and recall where you came from. Remember how your divine mother is – absolutely loving and always there for you. Bathe in this love. Absorb this love and become absolutely secure that her love is always there for you.”
I talked for quite some time and was surprised at the fluidity and beauty of the words that formulated in my mind to say to her. I gave her some time and asked her to be sure that she was clearly established in this always and endless love – that she would never forget or doubt it. Then I told her, “Your mother this lifetime was not a very good representative of this type of love. But know that your mother’s foibles in no way diminish the divine love of your “real” mother. Keep that connection to your divine mother as we go back into the developing fetus.”
Having her hold that image and feeling of constant love and care, I brought her back through the years of her life and into present time. I spoke of some of the life issues she had mentioned and that we had processed in prior age recessions and made sure that she had the divine mother love connection while thinking (“revisiting”) stressful events of her life.
During this process, as we went back to her divine parents, I felt the “doors of Heaven open”. There was a profound peace, great intensity, and boundless love. She felt it too. After this session, her posture, facial gestures, vocal tone and speech patterns were clearly different. Feedback then, later, and from her other therapists confirmed that she was profoundly changed and more at peace with her world. It worked.
Dr. Robert Frost--