Reprogramming a "crummy childhood"
12/10/08 08:18 Filed in: AK used in Psychotherapy
If "imperative" implies that you are willing to take a few strange and uncomfortable steps, I can suggest a method that will certainly work:
Every day you do perhaps a thousand things. Several go not as planned. I suspect that you ridicule and put yourself down about the several things wrong. "How could I be so stupid?" or as my daughter prefers, "I can't believe I did that!"
And I suspect that the ~990 other things that went right receive no inner commentary at all.
And this miserable programming is socially reinforced. When we dare to say, "Gee, I did that really well didn't I?", others cringe away and give us bad vibes. When we 'jammer' and moan, "Oh, why do I always get it wrong?", others come to us, put their hand on our shoulder, and give us uplifting comments. Exactly the reverse of what would be healthy.
Sooooo, how does one get out of this mess? The answer I will give will certainly sound childish. It is actually childlike. Think about it. Who has the most energy? Kids! And how do they talk about their accomplishments? "Mommy, look what I did!" full of pride and joy. And that gives them near endless vitality.
Recipe for reprogramming a crummy childhood:
When you get up early like you wanted to the night before, say to yourself: "There. I got up early like I wanted to. Good." Then when you brush your teeth, say, "And now I brushed my teeth, just like I decided to." When your nutritious breakfast is on the table, look at it and say aloud (if alone), "Look at that wonderful breakfast I made for myself. Yum!"
These are the kind of things little kids say to themselves. The secret to making this plan work is to put intense emotion into those childlike words. Your subconscious mind doesn't know what is a big thing and what is a small accomplishment. It only knows how much emotion you put into it. So if you say, "Gee, I tied my own shoes!" overflowing with enthusiasm, your subconscious mind thinks, "Wow, another positive accomplishment today. I'm a regelrecht goal achiever!"
When the amount of positive emotion you exude toward yourself gets to over 50% of the emotion your emote during the day, your whole world will change. It has worked for many of my students over the years, ones will lousy self-depricating childhoods, if they will dare to do this simple practice regularly.
Sure you will feel stupid at first, but do it anyway. Do it like acting. Over-exagurate the positive emotions you so feed yourself. They are the medicine you need.
Let me know if I can be of any support in the process.
Dr. Robert Frost--
Every day you do perhaps a thousand things. Several go not as planned. I suspect that you ridicule and put yourself down about the several things wrong. "How could I be so stupid?" or as my daughter prefers, "I can't believe I did that!"
And I suspect that the ~990 other things that went right receive no inner commentary at all.
And this miserable programming is socially reinforced. When we dare to say, "Gee, I did that really well didn't I?", others cringe away and give us bad vibes. When we 'jammer' and moan, "Oh, why do I always get it wrong?", others come to us, put their hand on our shoulder, and give us uplifting comments. Exactly the reverse of what would be healthy.
Sooooo, how does one get out of this mess? The answer I will give will certainly sound childish. It is actually childlike. Think about it. Who has the most energy? Kids! And how do they talk about their accomplishments? "Mommy, look what I did!" full of pride and joy. And that gives them near endless vitality.
Recipe for reprogramming a crummy childhood:
When you get up early like you wanted to the night before, say to yourself: "There. I got up early like I wanted to. Good." Then when you brush your teeth, say, "And now I brushed my teeth, just like I decided to." When your nutritious breakfast is on the table, look at it and say aloud (if alone), "Look at that wonderful breakfast I made for myself. Yum!"
These are the kind of things little kids say to themselves. The secret to making this plan work is to put intense emotion into those childlike words. Your subconscious mind doesn't know what is a big thing and what is a small accomplishment. It only knows how much emotion you put into it. So if you say, "Gee, I tied my own shoes!" overflowing with enthusiasm, your subconscious mind thinks, "Wow, another positive accomplishment today. I'm a regelrecht goal achiever!"
When the amount of positive emotion you exude toward yourself gets to over 50% of the emotion your emote during the day, your whole world will change. It has worked for many of my students over the years, ones will lousy self-depricating childhoods, if they will dare to do this simple practice regularly.
Sure you will feel stupid at first, but do it anyway. Do it like acting. Over-exagurate the positive emotions you so feed yourself. They are the medicine you need.
Let me know if I can be of any support in the process.
Dr. Robert Frost--